Loneliness and Solitude

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Man is a social animal” and “monogamy is the way to evolve civilized life”. Both of these are not natural phenomenon for humanity; men and women alike.

On this planet of duality- duality of right and wrong, day and light, male and female, it appear to be the compelling need of the existance to cultivate this phenomenon to make humanity to be dependent, interdependent on each other. It was forced by nature to discover union in each other and with everyone.

By design, It seems that universe chose to play with the basic nature of human life. A life, which in essence was complete in itself but probably non progressive and scalable for life on the planet. Nature knew that unless humanity feels incomplete, it will not develop quest for completion and it will not look outside, hence it played a trick with human being to make them search their completion in themselves in each other.

Being smarter than smartness of human being, It was aware that sooner or later, humanity will discover that they are complete in themselves, it created a source of wisdom by creating few examples of mystics as role model. Soon it became a trap. A trap which caused a split between mind and spirit. Mind of humanity found its completion in its endeavour to seek union in another human or search of its purpose of life and on other hand, its spirit seeking union with the existence of physical self making it inward journey. This trick created emotions. Emotions of pain in humanity and if they wish to avoid it, seek bliss as a token of union in other human, purpose of life or in meditation.

Not many succeeded to beat this trick. In fact almost none of us, hence we suffered and it was alright for existence to allow us to do so and that exactly seem to be the mission of universe to let the progression and evolution of human race become timeless and ageless journey-to allow humanity discover its own ways to find its completion.

Lack of feeling complete within self lead to feeling loneliness-a state in which human believed they need to be loved and acknowledged by another fellow human being. Since everyone felt the same need, scarcity of appreciation pushed humanity to leave comfort zone and do something more exceptional to be appreciated which actually meant acceptance of self as complete. Soon it turned ugly. Rather than endeavouring for appreciation as a form of completion, we inflicted higher sense of inadequacy in others.

Hence, humanity has been playing tick tock between inward and outward journey. It either turns outward to material world seeking union or turns inward in search of union within. All of it because humanity felt incomplete or inadequate the way it was. Be it efforts to gain mystical powers by pursuing good in one form or another,  or control over wealth, or army or simply seeking being in control over one’s life is stemming from sense of inadequacy.

In this struggle, solitude suffered with loneliness. A state in which one is fully aware of the cycle of life and death- a state in which one is in full acceptance of its own existence with its in-adequacy and pain, with its powers and vulnerability, with its lack of need for union with form and formless – a state in which charm of material world is visible but does not tempt and the power of mystic does not hold significance. A state in which neither humanity is celebrated nor its sorrow are taken real- a state in which there is no time and space. A state in which it is just a moment in which whole existence lives forever…

Such people are not rare. Many existed on this planet since time immortal but they failed to be a role model for many of us. We either looked at capitalist for their ability to harness power over lives of humanity or we bowed down to those mystics who demonstrated the circus of their mystical powers. But never we looked upon the life of those creative genius who expressed their existence in one form of other. rather we discarded them as unfit for the society.

You and I, have read them, seen their work and come across those common people who are very comfortable with themselves. We have silently admired them but seldom admitted to ourself that we shall follow them.  I found celebration of existence called “solitude” in writing of Nirmal Verma, Rilke, Albert Camus, Einstein and Carl Jung and many more and I found them in innumerable common people who touched my life and and pushed me to accept myself. I am sure, you also found it within and many people outside but ignored in your obsession to be adequate. It is time, you accept the way you are by discovering the state of solitude to experience oneness rather than feeling loneliness driving sense of inadequacy.

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Simren
    August 7, 2016 at 10:43 am

    Today you have placed the greatest truth of our existence and seeking on a platter. There is nothing beyond this !! A spiritual truth served so simply and eloquently. You describe the hollow sounds of seeking love just like Wordsworth did in solitary reaper , To find yourself complete within , with profound insight, very presipicacious. I have personally lost so much in seeking love in another that your article is like a mirror that reminds me of my purpose to find myself complete within me.
    Thank you Naveen for sharing this percipient truth and insight with us in such simplicity 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • Reply
    Anjana
    August 8, 2016 at 7:36 am

    I remember and embibe each word you speak to me. “Go inward” , “Disconnect from all” , “Practice Silence”…. .all these make so much sense now when I understand the meaning behind then… Today after 8 months of association with Nvlife SOLITUDE resonates me and my wholeness…. It binds me more with others too like never before…Solitude does not necessarily mean living apart from others; rather, it means never living apart from one’s self. It is not about the absence of other people-it is about being fully present to ourselves, whether or not we are with others. Community does not necessarily mean living face-to-face with others; rather, it means never losing the awareness that we are connected to each other. It is not about the presence of other people-it is about being fully open to the reality of relationship, whether or not we are alone. Thank you Naveenji for all the Solitude n getting Rilke, Nirmal Verma, Camus and last but not the least Anjana ☺ into my life….In Gratitude forever and forever.

  • Reply
    Meeta
    April 27, 2017 at 9:12 am

    Self-realization is the key….you seem to say !

    One has been running away from this ideal for a long long time, believing that my life was meant to be given to love, losing myself in it – that true love being the only aim of my existence …. nothing else held any meaning for me in this life…. achievements, position, power….the only need – being able to love this love !!

    Loving with this capacity,hunger or need to love – giving myself completely in love to another has been ‘the trap’ .. now I know after having gone through it … !

    If only I had first found this love within …. and then had shared it with my loved one it would have been a fulfilling, enriching existence for all around me… and not just for the two of us.

    Thanks all the same for this beautiful write up !!!

  • Reply
    meeta
    May 6, 2017 at 7:07 am

    This expression of your’s touched me. Search and disappointments will go on till the time one finds authentic self and is comfortable with it.

    I understand the article more when I go through both the comments ..

    So .. what means the quote .. “the purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things”, in the light of this article… ? Why talk of defeat when we are trying to win ourselves. !!

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