I was at the NvLife Centre, Bangalore for 11 days as a part of my regular transformation retreat. Although, I was a part of NV Life for six months, but this was my first visit. I had started organizing events and was on continuous coaching and healing as part of NV Life’s commitment to transform people who join them.
We all know the transformation of a butterfly from a caterpillar, but have no idea what is the pain of going through it. My 11 days at the centre, were full of it.
The moment Naveen saw me, the first thing he said that I was walking like a man with no softness on my face which was because I was storing some energies which had distorted my posture. He also said that the energies in my body were not flowing completely and that my back had a little hunch. He left by saying that we need to get your back straight in one week and reverse aging. Since I have seen him doing this several times and making people deliver the results, it was hardly a surprise.
On the second day itself, a major energy flow session was done on me by Naveen. He kept showing where and how energies are stuck and not flowing. By the end of the session, there was so much pain in my whole body as if it’s wounded, especially my heart. For the next 48 hours, I experienced this piercing pain all the time. They left me alone with the pain and asked me to stay with it. No sympathy, no sweet talk. As I breathe the pain for next 48 hours, I discovered deep roots of this pain inside me since childhood. This was all I needed to feel and I felt my whole body and flow of energy throughout. I felt like electric currents sensation running all over the body making me feel very intimate with myself.
The big realization was that “What happens to our energy system when we block our emotions in the body.” Of course, my spine was still not straight.
On the fifth day morning, when I was feeling very good with transformation I had gone through and was feeling very good about myself, Naveen took a one-on-one session in a much unexpected manner.
He just started speaking about my dark side. His words were sharp and tone was very ruthless and eyes showed a complete stranger to me. One after the other he was hitting me in all those areas wherever it would pain the most. As he was speaking, I was feeling shattered and he did not even pause. He kept pouring acid till I get fully burned. Some of you, who have attended his coaching, would agree.
Obviously I tried to protect myself by telling him what all I have achieved and he was hell bent on what I haven’t been able to do. And he was very painfully showing me that 80% of my being which I haven’t been able to see. My ego was thrashed in each and every possible way and I was reduced to ashes. I literally felt like as if I am a piece shit.
The next few hours I was only crying and crying. By the afternoon, I was asked to do certain written exercises where I made an enormous realization on how I was consciously working towards being successful while my sub-conscious was carrying fear about success.
Another session happened in the evening and as soon as I started talking, he again made me realize what I have not been able to see in my life and why I have been living on shoe-string abundance with shoe-string relationships. He wanted me to find out that despite of having so many qualifications and knowledge, why is it that I’m not able to have abundance in life and not been getting the results I’ve been wanting to get which means there’s something majorly wrong with the way I’ve been looking at things.
That night,I sat down to reflect at my life in a way I have never seen. In those six hours, my life was running like a movie in front of my eyes. Every minute was giving me an insight and I was becoming freer of my victimhood and free of my baggage of blaming others for my life’s mess, blaming others for not loving me, for not receiving love; for not been able to acknowledge what God had provided. That all these years I hadn’t been able to see/feel what I had, and that’s what multiplied.
The next day, I was alone in the healing room doing another technique, called NV-Hunting, and I don’t know what transpired in me that I howled and cried for about 90 minutes. In the peaceful surroundings, the whole NvLife centre was just echoing my howling. By the afternoon, when I came back to senses, there was this strange silence and complete emptiness in me.
The day after, I had another session for about two hours on how it was important to know the purpose of your life and to have the blessings our elders in our lives. I realised that this was the reason I was never contented because I didn’t have their blessings.
I was asked to do a written exercise and to my amazement, within ten minutes of starting the written exercise, I got an insight about my life purpose and I felt compelled to lie on the bed. For the next two hours, I had so much energy flowing through my body that I couldn’t get up and experienced pleasure sensations in every nerve. By the end of the two hours, I felt lighter. I felt blessed and flowers were being showered. It was an experienced I can still feel in my body. Later that night, I felt really light.
Now I know why everything was so twisted and I had an idea for why everybody behaved the way they behaved with me, and how the universe had planned things for me. My mind had dropped completely and I was experiencing this serene deep sense of peace and fulfillment.
In the end, I felt complete and in harmony with myself. With deep sense of intimacy with self, I felt safe and secure that I am blessed and taken care of. Of course, I walk straight naturally.
I was falling in love again: With life; my husband; daughter; parents and my in-laws. Whenever I look in the mirror, I feel that love and warmth that I have developed for self. “Things and external matters don’t perturb my peace and even if they do the impact is minimalistic and die down on its own with grounding” This is what I learned here.
Today I know why people say that “You are responsible for what you do in life.” This retreat has transformed my life and I exactly know how I was blocking the love and blessings in life and what it means to have “love and peace in life” because I am experiencing it every moment.