We Messed Up With Our Daughters – Part 1
With this post, I have more questions than a solution. By now, I am more than certain that I lack common sense but more than that, I am clear in my head that I am not the first one to ask this question. The only difference is that any one who asked this question before, asked in Pre internet ERA under a NEEM tree in a village and he was declared schizophrenic by so called Wise people….
Our civilization as well as institution of marriage is more than 1000 years old. Almost every culture and religion grew girls with complete belief that she does not belong to the house she is born in and one day she has to go to some other family. This was the basic premise of the family and social institution. Hence from the day one, we began programming our girls, giving them a sense of insecurity towards their future and letting them know that they will enter in the unknown world one day.
More than 1000 years of programming has gone in collective unconscious. For sure, parents and institutions tried their best to ensure that they reduce unknown fears factors for their girls. They even built the paradigm that a girl was called daughter of the village to provide her sense of security. For this reason, even they groomed their daughters more with open mind and cultivated the culture of very high degree of adaptability so that post marriage (call it post merger), there is no clash of cultural values. For sure, even in-laws worked very hard to integrate the girl in their culture and values throughout her stay and more so in the initial years till she gave birth to children and they were sure now that the integration has happened. They even ensured that she remains under supervision and does not go to the neighbors alone as much as possible so that the monitoring and supervision, which was so essential in initial years of marriage, for integration was obtained.
Parents and in-laws, they did everything to ensure safety, security and reducing fear of unknown. However at energy level, they first uprooted a girl and played havoc with her energy fields..
For a woman, who was physically inferior in early ages of civilization had to be at mercy of Men and her degree of freedom was regulated and controlled by men and she felt lucky if she got it which, in essence, was her basic right.
Forget early ages, even till today, most modern girls, globally traveled across various culture could be found saying, I love my husband because he lets me do what I want…So much of programming has gone into first taking away the basic right of a human being that we can not think what we have is our birth right??
Degree of insecurity is not limited to programming a girl that she is not at her own home in growing years, fear is further inculcated that if she fails to make marriage work, there is no coming back to her house, which in any case was never told is hers. So much so India and many cultures till Industrial revolution, even threw girl out of village, burned widows and threw stones on women who dared deserted their men. No questions asked on her reasons and men were never questioned. So, the day girl child is born, she comes with the operating system that she is not born to her family and that she is only given one chance to build a home and help humanity evolve by giving birth to children.
This has created a feminine energy which is constantly searching for stability over freedom, acceptability over self respect and recognition as a human being means performing duties which pleases the society. Clearly, she has to earn her bread and survival each day by doing all of it.
all of you as mothers of 21st century take pride that you are not bringing up your daughters in similar manner as your mothers brought you up and I am sure you justify that you are different. Sure you are, but understand that the task at hand of a mother is far more complex than just being obsessed “with being different from your own mother and giving one degree extra freedom”. You have a task to fight collective consciousness and collective subconsciousness which runs in your DNA since thousands of years.
Today, we do not need to teach our daughters that their happiness depends upon their husbands. We do not need to teach them that they will be gone away from us one day. Let us not play with their root chakra energy. Let us understand it that at energy level, we create a mess with this frequency. If I am granted 3 wishes for my daughter, here is what I will wish 1. wisdom to lead her life and make her own holistic decision 2. a house where she can live without worrying for monthly bills 3. a dream to be a better human being….
Sense of safety, mother, money on physical plane is function of root chakra (mooldhara).Respoding to programming, this chakra is deficient, thus creating her consciousness to remain engaged to this chakra only and issues concerning it. It has direct impact on her crown chakra which is polar opposite and is responsible to faith in universe. She remains a tool in the hand of humanity which is driven by unknowns. The next she does is manipulates (or regulates) her own energies at Hara chakra (sexuality and relationships) in such a manner that the base value she gets is, security.She remains focused on security first and if she is a mother, then safety of child is added pressure on her. So, where is the time for her to seek true love and freedom? for most phases of their life.
In today’s time and age, where we have built robust family institution, I feel that we have a dire need to be contemporary with our values and have a fresh look at it. For sure half of the population of the world which lives below poverty line, this still remains a question but in next 100 years, we elite have a chance to even shape new society and new paradigm which is based on mutual respect, equality and freedom to choose because what our mothers did was not wrong, but if we do it now, we will be wrong…..
(originally written in may 2010. unedited)