“Nature of belief is to search for certainty, and we have accumulated infinite belief over various lifetimes, coded as the tendencies in our soul…. In life this is what we do with relationships and self. We create patterns of failures and misery because that gives us a feeling of certainty and a sense of security.”
Certification Program I, Pondicherry Retreat
Context & Learning
My feedback here comes from a person who had done NV Life- Swaha in 2017 and had relished the work done there. And while she made progress, she also lacked sincerity. So she fell off the bandwagon for a while before she got onto it again.
So, when I went for the Pondicherry retreat, I did not know whether to expect:
- Further inner growth and learning
- Understanding role and responsibilities of being a part of the NV LIFE team
Irrespective of the above, I was comfortable, knowing that this could be the next level of learning for me (could be, I say because of who I am). There was also a special feeling about the entire program, for me, for the simple fact that I would be meeting many of my Swaha mates- some after a span of a year; for the connections we share are beyond camraderie. I reflect back on the book Celestine Prophecies, which Naveen Sir had recommended once- that we read..
Having reached the venue on Day 1 and settled in, I absorbed the place and found it so wonderful and peaceful. It felt like a perfect destination!
Sir’s briefing on this day, in the evening- on free-will and what we may expect helped set the context and also made me wonder..
The next day, the visit to the Samadhi of Shri Aurobindo- the moment of bowing down at the samadhi was like a cathartic magnet drawing out my pain and bringing so much peace. It was a truly ethereal experience – that and meditation thereafter. This is how we began and there couldn’t have been another better way!
As we moved further, on the 1st day of our program, and flowed through the rest of the days, which followed, I felt a continuous build-up of empowerment within. While there was a thrashing of my ego, by my own self, at one end; at another there was an avenue to reconstruct with its awareness, in place. The coaching sessions – in triads and duo, while we fumbled our way through the same, trying to do our best – I would say that it brought out my lack in a new avatar altogether!
The 14- 21 relevance, Future Hunting and reclaiming of life-force-energy from various events in the past – these tools felt like brahmastra– tools which we were handed over with such compassion and trust.
The Science of Giving- What an amazing lesson we were all offered. We had all gone to receive and here we were told to abandon the same and move towards giving! I was amused and excited – I thought that giving came to me easy! But that was yet another illusion about myself, which got broken – broken but not blown; not shattered – just broken….
Yes, I did wonder about the alone free-time to pursue creativity; but I wonder if that would have been possible in the setting of the retreat, where there was so much to learn from nature, from our peers, apart from our Guru, Naveen Sir. Our learning on the suppression of the spirit and its lock on creativity, at the age of 14- 21- actually brought me face to face with the fact that mine was a dried- up well.. and to bring in the gush of creative energies, there was some simple unlocking to be done- simple but sincere.
This retreat had me experiencing compassion, passionate objectivity, forthcomingness and the small play of Maya – testing me personally for sure. I hold my experience of all of the above in awe and am continuing to soak in and imbibe the same in to me.
At this instance, when I reflect back to the book, the following lines from the chapter: Origin, Introduction and History of Belief come striking.
Every moment is an experience and each experience creates a feeling. By nature, each of these feelings tend to take us into the state of either wonderment, bliss, mystery or pain. But if we bring our mind in between, we create thoughts and combining thoughts with feelings becomes a belief……
….Belief limits the consciousness and expansion of consciousness is possible by breaking belief. The first step to break the belief is to bring it into awareness….
… Nature of belief is to search for certainty, and we have accumulated infinite belief over various lifetimes, coded as the tendencies in our soul…. In life this is what we do with relationships and self. We create patterns of failures and misery because that gives us a feeling of certainty and a sense of security.
At this instance, I pray to continue walking.. Deepest gratitude for Naveen sir, for all my colleagues and specifically Mihirji, for managing the logistics for all of us.