We Messed Up With Our Daughters – Victim & Victimsers – Part 2

5 May 2010 at 11:39

I wrote this part II of my article with a sense of moral responsibility, reactions and appreciations I received in the form of few phone calls, emails and online responses. Thanks every one.

I felt very sad few years back for few days when I read “intimate history of humanity”. In one of the chapters, it  cite an example that in very early part of institutionalized society, slavery was a choice. When some of the workers, broke away from their master in want of freedom for their life, they came back to the master after few days, because they found sheer emptiness in freedom and did not know what to do with it…Those were primitive days of society.

I am sure all of you have been to toy shop and I recall seeing a toy which is a couple (male and female) connected to each other through thread in such a way, that if you twist them few times and leave them on floor, without any battery of external power source, they get into wrestling with each other almost endlessly. This is what we call the game of victim-victimizer…

So, we made our girl child a victim the moment she was born. We programmed her for unknown and made her work towards her own security and took away her freedom. As I had written in my last article, they did not do wrong, but if we do the same now, we will be wrong.

We created an entrepreneur out of a woman… great thing to do. We based creation of society on a woman- this was also the right thing to do because it is a woman who has the power to create and nurture. We could probably not have trusted our hunter man for the same. A woman who was made the entrepreneur, was not left alone but was groomed at her own house and then at in-law’s house, to build home albeit without giving her awareness and wisdom and without being grateful to her, but by inflicting fear, torture and misery. She was told that she only has once chance (sati pratha) to survive  and even for the factors which were out of her control, she was punished…

So what did she do to make sure that she succeeds? She ensured that when her degree of freedom was taken away, she takes away all those energies out of her man and family which could interfere with her mission. So if she had to use sex, she did it, she had to sacrifice her happiness, she did it.None of it, she did it as her own choice or expression of her soul. We were still fine, to some extent, when this game happened. The problem came when she began to pass on the same to her daughter and manipulated her son to get extended sense of security and this went on to program collective unconsciousness where more than men, women victimized themselves…

I like each one of us to pause here. Traditionally men and women relationship has been connected with this thread where they victimize each other. So when the son felt controlled as he was growing up, he ensured that he controls his woman.

We made sure that we do not outgrow this game. We kept passing on guilt and wounds to our next generation and both the sections of society are equally responsible…responding to thousands of years of collective programming and not pausing and thinking fresh in this ERA of very advanced society…

It is very interesting to watch Europe pausing on this old paradigm and experimenting with social institution (because USA still remains very conservative and opening up rather holistically than Europe). Much of the West, franchised food and also gradually did the same with sex. States began to provide security to its citizen after 18, and that took away the need for man and woman to be in relationship for these 3 reasons. It is these 3 factors, which are keeping marriage of EAST intact and bit of their broken and handicapped spirituality. Give East these 3 assurances, and they would break loose all hell and become cannibals.

The point is not about men vs woman in contemporary society. It is also not about Woman Lib which has only scratched the surface as Laura pointed out. It is also not wrong for Arun to respond on curtailing freedom, he only reacting to collective unconscious programming. It is about what Natesh and Laura mentioned and I said can we Pause to respond to collective unconsciousness and rise above the victim-victimizer game and can we have men awakening their female energies as much as females awaken much deeper male energies in them…..

Having said that, it is not difficult at all. All we need to do it to challenge our self and ask our self  “why do we think the way we think?”…. We do not even have the task to coach our children. They in any case are not listening to collective unconsciousness. My worry is not that we will not have a holistic society, my worst fears are that if we do not become contemporary, in next 30 years, we will be obsolete much before we are dead….

About NVLife 16 Articles
In year 2010, with background in entrepreneurship with degree in engineering, he hit upon clues to 2 questions which he had been searching an answer for, all his growing up years. The questions were a) Why do I think the way I think b) Why certain things happen to some people and not to others (A unique Code). In last 4 years, that small clue turned into 7 principles of treatment which finds its roots in quantum physics. As he began to follow the guidance, starting with mental disorder, patients with varied issues begin to show up and same principle of treatment were applied which added to perfecting them. Since then he worked on 2 things a) Decoding the secret of disorder/disease and suffering b) Creating a structured program through which more people can be trained on the treatment to heal themselves. A course in "Science of Life program" came into being. He lives with his wife and 2 kids in Bangalore.


  1. 1.In the last para… do you mean collective unconsciousness (or consciousness)…?
    2. What do you mean by “becoming contemporary”.. ? Does it mean to become like western society or to transform ourselves back to being the very open society as in Vedic times way back ?

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